Posted by: fatherof11 | January 19, 2006

Dad Answers Part 3

Anonymous poster WC asks some more good question. By the way WC, introduce yourself, I like to know who I am talking to.

Do you ever get to go on a “date”…out to eat, for a walk at the mall, to a movie, with just you and Romona—no kids??

Certainly. All but one of our kids are teenagers so there is no real problem leaving them at home, especially since my Mom lives with us.

What are the biggest obstacles to overcome from going from just husband and wife to 11 kids?


How many of the 11 children are “walking with the Lord”?

We cannot truly know someone else’s heart, so that is really hard to say. We are also cautious to not push for professions of faith. Children can too easily rush to make a profession in order to please mom and dad. We certainly present them the Gospel and encourage them to put their faith in Christ, but we would much rather leave a child examining themselves to see if they are in the faith than trusting in their profession and a baptism.

Having said that, we have two who have made a credible profession, been baptized, and are showing fruit. Several others give credible professions and are showing some fruit, but have not sought baptism. All the rest give some form of profession and may exhibit some fruit, but do not seem to be genuinely regenerate. None express open rebellion to either us or God.

This may be too personal of a question:

Dad and Romona, you seem so Christ-like and loving to have done what you have done/doing (adopting)—What sin issues (if any) do you struggle with yourselves?

First, I’ll say that if we are not struggling with sin, then we are not Christians. Short of heaven, we will always struggle with sin.

Ramona said, when I asked her this question, that her biggest problem is trusting God during this time of testing with her health.

For me, I would say that I struggle most with being a servant. I would rather do my own thing than serve my wife and family. I am also not nearly as patient as I ought to be.

Touchy question:

Do you, believe Christians should have a heart that should want to adopt? Do practicing Christians who live in nice homes and have the “American dream” (materialy)—should they, in your opinion, be adopting needy children in order to truly be Christ-like? Are you upset/disturbed with fellow Christians (who seem to have everything) that have not been willing to adpot?

First let me say that I do not see any Biblical command to adopt children. So I cannot say that someone is wrong to not adopt children. I think that the Biblical commands regarding care for orphans can be met in other ways than through adoptions.

On the other hand, I think our hearts should be where the Lord’s heart is. In the giving of the Law to Israel, He made provision for widows, orphans, and strangers. At later times, He chastised Israel for their treatment of the same groups. In the New Testament His concern for orphans is reiterated in such places as James 1:27. Anyone who has no care whatsoever for orphans ought to examine themselves to see if they are in the faith. How their care, if it exists, is put into practice is dependent on how God has equipped a them to express that care.

I would also be careful not to make one facet such as care for orphans the litmus test for Christ-likeness. Each of us are only dim reflections of the likeness of Christ. If I am %0.00002 like Christ in the loving of the poor and disposessed and someone else is %0.00001, I have little to condemn them for.

As far as feelings, I would say that it is mostly just sadness that so many do not care for those the Lord cares for. That and they are missing out on all the blessings that these children bring.



  1. I think that some of the people whose adoptions have not been successful have adopted because they thought they “should” adopt. God gives each of us abilities. He has blessed us and many others through your adoptions, but no one should adopt because they thing they “should”. God must lead them to that decision.

  2. Well said, Sister Sister.


  3. I can think of several friends who have seen what you have done and wondered “could I do that?”
    And by your example and God’s proding they have decided that they could and were blessed. I think people sometimes, while they admire you for adopting, think that you must be some kind of super-saint. When they get to know you better and realize that if you are just a ordinary person who is using what God has given you to serve Him decide that if you can do it so can they. I know your example has encourage me to use what little time and talent I have to help in your endevour.

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