Posted by: fatherof11 | January 11, 2006

Disruption

Disruption has been on my mind lately. January is when our last two daughters came to us through disruption. Then in the last couple of days we have received requests to help two more people considering disruption. It seems like a weekly occurrence these days.

When we started our adoptions, we had never heard of disruption. In our minds adoption meant the same thing as birth, that the child was yours forever. Sadly this is not how much of our culture views things. Children are possessions just like a car or a TV. And, just like a car or TV, if you don’t like it, you take it back and get another one. I guess it is not surprising that a culture which so readily accepts divorce and abortion would think nothing of making it easy to get rid of an unwanted adopted child. Sadly, it is almost easier to get rid of child you don’t want than it is a car.

Having given a home to three disrupted children, we have seen the devastating effects it has on the child. We have likened it to divorce, but that does not really capture the half of it. In a divorce, the person still keeps many of their friends and family. In the case of a disruption, a child loses their parents, their siblings, and all their friends. It is as if to them, everyone in their life has died. Even more is the fact that the child is not the only adopted child, and yet they are the only one disrupted. The implication being that it was the disrupted child in particular they did not want and not just any child. The child often recognizes this even at a young age.

Arise, O LORD! O God, lift up Your hand! Do not forget the humble.

Why do the wicked renounce God? He has said in his heart, “You will not require an account.”

But You have seen, for You observe trouble and grief, to repay it by Your hand. The helpless commits himself to You; you are the helper of the fatherless.

Break the arm of the wicked and the evil man; seek out his wickedness until You find none.

The LORD is King forever and ever; the nations have perished out of His land.
LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; you will prepare their heart; you will cause Your ear to hear,

To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may oppress no more.
Ps 10:12-18 (NKJ)

Yet God in His infinite wisdom has brought to us three daughters in this way. Beautiful, sweet girls, diamonds taken from other people’s trash bins. He is providing healing and to each, we pray, giving faith in His beloved Son. He is truly the Father of the fatherless. We are blessed to see Him work in them.

Pray that God will give us wisdom to counsel people to avoid disruption and that God will bring forward good Christian families to take these twice fatherless who are abandoned by their adoptive families.

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Responses

  1. My wife and I are stunned at the concept of disruption. Thanks for letting us know about this horrible concept! We have let others know by linking to your post. Disruption is not a pretty thing

  2. We adopted our two children. Later the agency called to ask if we were interested in a third child: a couple had adopted siblings, but decided they didn’t want one of them. We didn’t have enough money to go through another adoption at the time, but our hearts were breaking for this child, so we began to secure donations from family members.

    Then the agency called back and said that the couple had changed their minds again and decided to keep both children. I’m still bothered by fears that one of those children is growing up relatively unloved.

    Disruption is a horrible thing in itself, and it’s a horrible blot on the whole of adoption.


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